I started teaching this week. There were a lot of great quotes, but these are some of what I can remember.
“I got three rules. Be Respectful. Keep the volume between a 1 and a 1.4 decimal level. And three: no WWE.”
“No throwing pencils. I almost lost an eye once.”
“Are you one of those teachers that takes student’s phones?” “I go by the old adage, ‘If I see it. I take it”‘.
“I’m so unpopular these days, I can’t even buy a like on Facebook.”
“My girlfriend is Nikki Bella.” “John Cena is going to beat you up.” “No he won’t. He can’t see me.”
“You ever hear of Alcatraz, the famous Island in San Francisco where the prisoners go? You can remember me as the bad substitute teacher.”
“I am a professional babysitter.”
“When I was in 7th grade I walked around by myself at lunch because I had no friends.”
“We wanna listen to music?” “You ever hear the album called Rituals?”
“I go home every night and cry and have nightmares.”
“You should sub here every day.” “I could, but do I want to? Muhahha Muhahah.”
“I have a peanut size brain.”